My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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