babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
