so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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