How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
