Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He better not be in your backpack
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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