Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize