Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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