hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
