You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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