..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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