Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
