There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
