the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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