4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
