she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
