We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
