I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize