he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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