Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
