hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Life is so much better after having sex.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
