She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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