he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
