I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
