absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
