How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I understand Curling. That high.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
