Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
