i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
