im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
