the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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