bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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