White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Life is so much better after having sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
