Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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