I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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