I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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