Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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