i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
