So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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