My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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