now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
