I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize