She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
