i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?