We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
third nipple confirmed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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