I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
