Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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