Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
