trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
