the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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