He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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