Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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