I'm really into asian looking animals
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
