New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
