clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
