wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
