I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize