Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
